Top Ten Reasons the Declining Dollar is a Good Thing

10). Greedy oil sheiks will get what they deserve when they discover just how worthless all those greenbacks they’ve been accumulating from their petrol profits.

9). “When you multiply 4% inflation times a 50% decline in the dollar, then a 199% increase in the deficit doesn’t seem too bad. Heck, we may actually be making a profit.” – Alan Greenspan (author of “Irrational Exuberance” and “Fuzzy Math).

8). “I feel a lot better knowing the IRS is getting currency that is losing value as we speak.” – Wesley Snipes (Black belt bad-ass & spokesperson for H&R Block).

7). “If the value of the dollar declines to zero, then it will prove my point: deficits don’t matter.” -- Dick Cheney (from a secure location).

6). “Declining dollar will raise the costs of food, which will force Americans to eat less, thereby solving our obesity problem. Every day the dollar drops I suggest American drop and do some pushups too.” – Jack la Lalanne (Fitness Guru).

5). If dollar declines enough Bill Gates will be as poor as everyone else.

4). The Iraq war will be priceless if the dollar continues to slide.

3). “If the dollar continues to plummet we’ll need more tax cuts and rebate checks to stimulate investment in things America really needs, like even bigger plasma TVs and cooler I-Pods.” – (James Cramer who won recently the Nobel Prize in Economics for his financial treatise, Mad Money).

2). When the dollar is replaced by the euro as the world’s reserve currency (sometime in 2009) we should replace George Washington’s likeness with George W. Bush’s mug. By that time, it may more economic sense to use our worthless currency as a substitute for Charmin toilet paper.

1). Replacing “In God we Trust” on our currency with “It’s you money, you paid for it” will be a fitting testament to the legacy of George W. Bush.

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