George Bush vs. George Washington

If you are a megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur, then very few vocations are likely to provide the psychic rewards your voracious ego requires. Short of commanding your own Starfleet, or founding your own worldwide criminal syndicate (like Dr. Evil), President of the United States is probably the professional slot most conducive to inflating one’s sense of self-worth. After all, as the Decider-in-Chief you get to have the biggest jumbo jet on the planet, your own nuclear blast-proof bunker, and an eager cadre of sycophants and enablers dedicated to making you look good and helping you avoid reality as long as possible. If I wasn’t so busy blogging I might try running for the nation’s highest office myself.

George W. Bush, of course, seems to bask in the perks and paraphernalia of the presidency. His dirt bike is adorned with a presidential seal. And it’s not hard to imagine that he’s got his infamous flight suit stashed away in the same Oval Office closet Bill and Monica made out in. It’s not enough for W. to be a mere president, however. From time to time, Bush feels the need to compare himself to Teddy Roosevelt, Harry Truman, Honest Abe, and George Washington. Yes, the man who cannot tell the truth (about Iraq, global warming, or anything else) dares to compare himself with the man who could not tell a lie.

So, on President’s Day, Bush was visiting Mount Vernon to pay homage to himself by associating himself with the Founder himself. As Bush put it, Washington lost more battles than he won, but that didn’t stop him from winning the Revolutionary war. The implication, in case you didn’t notice, is that the mistakes, misjudgments, and failures in Iraq aren’t really mistakes, misjudgments, and failures; they’re just the historical flotsam and jetsam meant to test Bush’s implacable will.

Bush’s superficial reading of history, of course, glosses over numerous pertinent differences that put #1 and #43 at opposite poles on any number of measures. First, Washington made it a point of honor to treat enemy combatants humanely and according the strictly established codes of military justice. Second, Washington recognized that the Colonist didn’t need to win conventional military battles to defeat an imperial army fighting in hostile territory thousands of miles away from home. And third, Washington would have abhorred the idea of waging war in foreign lands to spread liberty, not to mention Bush’s constant attempts to play up the commander-in-chief card. In Washington’s view, standing armies, martial rhetoric, and militarizing public life were the gravest threats a republic could face. If Bush wants to compare himself to an 18th century political figure perhaps he should consider “Mad King George,” the monarch that represented everything our first president detested.

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