Thursday, November 15, 2007

Top Ten Policy Achievements of the Bush Administration

10). A lower dollars makes it more likely a foreign buyer can purchase my house before the bank forecloses.

9). Higher prices at the pump means we can afford to spend less on foreign aid that helps oil-producing third world countries like Russia, Venezuela, and Iran.

8). Global warming has really increased the potency of my medical marijuana crop.

7). Getting Muslims to fight each other over there in Iraq so they wouldn’t fight us over here is an idea that should have earned the axis-of-clichés, Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld, the Noble Peace Prize.

6). No Money Down, No Interest. No Payments till January, 2009 sure was an affordable way to buy into a war.

5). Hey, who would have thought that George W. Bush could have done so much to rehabilitate the reputations of Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Andrew Johnson, and Richard Nixon.

4). “Spending the government surplus on tax cuts for the wealthy helped insure we didn’t waste the money on deficit reduction, saving Social Security, or providing health insurance for needy brats. Bah Humbug.” -- Ebenezer Scrooge

3). George Bush has done for politics in America what Vince McMahon did for professional wrestling. Ok, neither is really edifying, but they sure are entertaining.

2). Dirt bike trails used by Bush and his Secret Service entourage are sure to be designated national landmarks by Bush’s successor.

1). Bush’s bridge to nowhere is leading back to anther Clinton White House.

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