Top Ten Cool Things About Obama’s Victory

10). Breaks down the biggest barrier of all. Having a funny name no longer disqualifies you from becoming president.

9). Obama will have the executive authority to designate Dick Cheney an enemy combatant.

8). Obama vs. Osama: With George W. Bush out of the equation it will be a lot easier to tell the good guys from the bad.

7). I will no longer have to apologize to every international airline stewardess, foreign taxi driver, and Third World hotel clerk for being an American.

6). Obama has the power to appoint Bill and Hillary to the Supreme Court (so we’ll never have to worry about having another Clinton in the White House again).

5). Sarah Palin will have time to fill in for Tina Fey should the star of 30 Rock and SNL need a break from her busy schedule. After all, let’s face it, the Alaska governor has more potential as a comedian than as commander-in-chief.

4). Joe the Plumber’s hopes of parlaying his 15-minutes of fame into a political career or a position in a McCain/Palin administration have gone down the drain.

3). The Axis-of Idiots – Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Michael Savage – are exposed as impotent, washed-up, useless old farts who can no longer stir up enough angry & ignorant voters to tip an election.

2). Democratic Congress with full investigative and subpoena powers can make George W. Bush’s retirement a living hell.

1). After eight years of enduring “Dubya,” it will be great to have a president who is not a joke for a change.

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