Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Top Ten Jobs for Bill and Hillary Clinton in an Obama Administration

10). Obama should immediately appoint Bill and Hillary to the Supreme Court. Hey, those black gowns will work a lot better for Hillary than her candy-colored pantsuits. And I bet Bill and Clarence Thomas will enjoy discussing legal theories concerning the Constitutionality of adult videos.

9). Since Hillary has shown an inclination to work till 3am, why not assign her to the top job at the White House switchboard?

8). Hillary’s vivid accounts of dodging sniper fire and mortar rounds indicate she would make her an ideal candidate for America’s top ambassador to the Green Zone in Baghdad.

7). Hillary talks about being a fighter a lot so why not give her five stars and appoint her as Secretary of War? I bet the Iranians will think twice about enriching uranium when she’s got the top slot at the Pentagon because they’ll know Hillary has a penchant for proving she’s man enough for any job.

6). If I were Obama, I’d appoint Hillary and Bill as goodwill ambassadors to the international space station.

5). Bill and Hillary have proven they’ll do anything it takes to get back to the White House. Hillary has downed shots of vodka, visited NASCAR, and passed herself off as a good’ old gal. Obama should assign Bill and Hillary to the White House motor pool, and let them be responsible for keeping the presidential limo spiffy shiny and clean.

4). I’m sure the Clinton’s just great at leading tours of the White House, though the secret Oval Office broom closet and the Lincoln bedroom should be off-limits to visiting girl scouts troops, unless Hillary accompanies her hubby.

3). Appoint Bill Clinton to the Court, the White House indoor basketball court that is. Hey, Bill Clinton supported affirmative action, so it’s only fair to have a token white guy who can’t jump on Obama’s team.

2). Bill Clinton playing “Hail to the Chief” on hi sax. How cool would that be? Obama should pick the big guy to lead the White House Band.

1). If Obama is foolish enough to pick Hillary as his VP he should insist on getting two for one by getting Bill as his food taster.

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